Reluctant Gods Read online

  Even though I am the last person to judge a person based on looks, I found myself backing up a little and trying to catch my breath. “I…I’m fine, thanks.”

  He nodded. “There’s a lot of black ice out tonight. Be careful.” He moved then, not listening to his own advice as he disappeared rapidly down the stairs. Within seconds, he blended into the night.

  I stood for a few moments trying to steady my nerves and see where he went, but my rescuer was gone as swiftly as he had appeared. I shook my head slightly then leaned on the stair rail as I descended to the dark, quiet sidewalk.

  There was surprisingly little traffic for a Friday, but the weather may have had something to do with it. Nevertheless, Evanston is a college town and there should have been more people out. It made me a little nervous, though I’m not usually worried about walking home alone. The library isn’t too far from my little red brick bungalow, but after the incident on the stairs, I found myself turning to watch every shadow, and flinching at every noise. Steam rose out of the sewer vents like silvery ghosts in the night air, and I tucked my chin down and picked up my pace.

  I practically ran the last two blocks home and quickly went inside, slipping a little over mail that had been pushed through the door slot to land in the foyer. I shut the door behind me, hitting all the latches, and in the process receiving what was probably the fiftieth shot of static electricity that day. I shook my hand from the jolt, cursing the dry winter air. I took a second to lean against the door before bending to scoop up the mail. I tossed it onto a nearby table and one envelope, thicker than the rest, slipped out. It was addressed to me, which wasn’t unusual. What caused my stomach to drop was the return address of Gran’s attorney, Marcus Lang.

  Mr. Lang and I had been playing phone tag for a couple of days, and I knew he wanted to speak to me, though I couldn’t imagine what for; all the details of Gran’s will were already taken care of, to the best of my knowledge. I carefully ripped the edge of the envelope with my teeth and shook out the contents. A quick reading left me as much in the dark as before; he simply requested that I make an appointment with his secretary as soon as possible.

  I put the letter by the phone to remind me to call him Monday morning, and decided to distract myself with the Arizona travel books I’d brought home. It was a valiant but vain effort, because the books only served to remind me of Sara, which reminded me of Gran, and my mind kept spinning various scenarios about why Mr. Lang might want to see me. Was there something wrong with the will? Did it have anything to do with my upcoming twenty-first birthday?

  And of course, there were the two questions that had nothing to do with Marcus Lang: Just who was that man on the steps tonight, and what was he doing there?

  I gave up trying to relax and texted Sara. Arizona is two hours behind Illinois at this time of year so she should have been awake, but she didn’t answer. When she didn’t respond after a couple of hours, I left a message and tried to keep the increasing anxiety out of my voice. I even called our good friend, Caleb, to see if he’d heard from her—I always suspected Caleb was in love with her—but he hadn’t heard from her either.

  The rug started getting a good workout with all my pacing, stopping and starting every few minutes to check my phone. I figured I was probably overreacting and told myself to calm down, but it just wasn’t like Sara not to respond. Even when she’s out with friends, she always takes my calls—especially now that I’m living on my own.

  By the time I’d practically chewed a hole in my thumbnail, it was after three o’clock in the morning and she still hadn’t called. Heaving a sigh, I trudged up the creaky stairs to put on some pajamas, tossing my clothes from today onto the ever-present Leaning Tower of Laundry that took up a corner of my room, and got into bed.

  My mind was no less easy at four a.m. when it finally gave way to sleep and disturbing dreams about faceless strangers.

  Two

  THE RUNT

  The rock bounces off my head, the blow hard enough to cause a trickle of blood to flow toward my eye, but I’m careful to not flinch. It’s easy. I’ve had plenty of practice. The pack leader rants and paces in front of me, taking pauses between curses to swipe a few claws across my bare chest. The many years of scar tissue built up there make it difficult to cut, so he goes in deeper, pulling away roughened flesh under his sharp talons. He follows that up with a good dousing of salt water to make sure the wounds would scar over to leave permanent reminders.

  This is punishment for my latest failure: not finding the girl or the box. Like many of the punishments over the years, it’s unfair and unjustified. Though not because I was falsely accused, as in the past—but because I actually succeeded this time. Yet as long as I am still breathing, my father will never know where she is.

  I would die for her.

  I will kill for her.

  Three

  Saturday came and went and I still hadn’t heard from Sara. On Sunday afternoon, I was debating whether to try to reach her roommate when she finally sent a text. Said her phone battery had died while she was spending the night with friends, and that she’d talk to me later. I tried not to be pissed, because logically, I had no reason to be. But on the other hand, if I ever went M.I.A. like that, she probably would have been threatening to call the local police if I didn’t get back to her right away. At least, I think she would’ve done so, before she transferred to the University of Arizona her junior year.

  When Gran died in November, I held onto a selfish hope that Sara might stay with me, since neither of us has any other family now that Gran’s gone. But she’s only got another year to graduate, so she went back to Arizona. I know she’s entitled to live her own life without me, but still... I miss her.

  I blinked hard and my stomach gave that little twist it does whenever I feel lonely. Sara and I are more like sisters than cousins. We were even born on the same day, and strangely enough, at the exact same time. Gran was babysitting us the day all of our parents were killed. A minor earthquake caused the cave they were exploring to collapse, and we just stayed with Gran thereafter—the three of us the remaining members of our small family.

  Since then, Sara and I always had each other’s backs. When we were in middle school, a dickhead-in-training thought it was funny to scream for help because he had “Phoebe Phobia.” Sara took him down in the parking lot after school, and in the process, got the only mark she has on her perfect face—a tiny scar just under her chin. A few years later, I returned the favor by scaring away the jerks who only wanted to get in her pants. And there were a lot of those. But a few scowls from my lovely mug tended to keep them at bay.

  It’s funny how she and I share the same problem for opposite reasons: People only judge us by how we look.

  Beauty may only be skin deep in some cases, but in Sara’s, I’ve always thought it was down to her soul. That’s why I can’t believe she was so cavalier after I’d been trying to reach her for over a day and a half. She didn’t even speak to me, just sent a short text. I knew I was being a big baby about it, but my birthday is coming up in a few days. You’d think she could at least call me back.

  I took out some of my irritation on the kitchen floor with a broom and mop, the smell of lemon floor cleaner helping to soothe my nerves. I also called our friend, Alison, a.k.a. Allie, to see if she was still bringing the offerings. We were having two extra people tonight, and I wanted to make sure we had enough for everyone. Allie promised she had it under control, which I suspected meant she’d swipe a few things from the restaurant where she works and piss off her boss. Again.

  By the time evening came, the natives who’d already arrived were getting a little restless as we waited for Allie to appear. I practically ran to the door when the bell rang, and she shuffled in balancing a large bottle of soda and another plastic container on top of a pizza box. I took the bottle from her, and shut the door quickly against the cold air.

  Our newest member, Megan, let out an outraged screech. “You brought pizza and pop to a Cakes and Ale ceremony! What kind of offering is that?”

  I glanced nervously at Allie as she put the box on the coffee table I’d cleared earlier. My stomach rumbled as the delicious smell of greasy cheese and tomato sauce filled the room. I’d been so busy getting ready and feeling sorry for myself that I hadn’t eaten all day.

  Allie pulled a knit cap from her head and ran her fingers through the short, spikiness of her black and purple hair. She proceeded to remove the lid from the plastic bowl that contained pepperoni for the one carnivore in the group before she finally turned to the new girl who had spoken. “Oh, I’m sorry. Megan, isn’t it?”

  I bit my lip to keep from smiling. She knew very well Megan didn’t like to be called by her real name. I’d already warned her about it.

  Megan glared death rays, her chubby cheeks quivering with indignation. “It’s Lady Raven of the Emerald Woods.”

  “My mistake.” Allie’s lips twitched as she arranged napkins on the table. “So, how do your parents like your new name?”

  Lady Raven sniffed. “I only care for the opinion of the Lady and the Lord.”

  “Probably a good thing.” Allie shrugged and turned to grin at our friend Caleb, who was eyeing the pepperoni with a longing expression.

  Megan’s back stiffened. “I am a serious practitioner.” The hissed words passed her lips with a capital S and a capital P.

  Allie snickered, Caleb became very busy arranging the pepperoni, while I barely restrained from rolling my eye. Honestly, if practically owning stock in black eyeliner and silver jewelry qualified one as a serious practitioner of magical arts, then Megan was definitely high up in the pecking order. I’ve never seen so many pentacles, Ankhs, and crescent moons on one person. Nevertheless, “Lady Raven” was o
ne of us now, and I placed a hand on Allie’s arm before she could cause more mischief. She raised her hands in surrender and moved to stand by the fireplace.

  I ignored Megan’s gimlet glare that demanded I do something about Allie. Instead, I picked up the two-liter of soda, held it against me with my right arm, and used my left hand to twist the cap to a satisfying fizz. “Well, now, surely the Lady and Lord are grateful for any genuine offering,” I said softly. “It’s what’s in our heart that counts, isn’t it?”

  Megan looked dismayed, but only for about two seconds before she pointed a shaking finger at the pepperoni. “And this—” she began, but the friend she’d asked to bring shook his head slightly and she stopped. The corners of her mouth turned down in sour disapproval, but she kept quiet.

  I shot a grateful glance to her strange companion who had barely spoken a word since he arrived. He didn’t acknowledge it; just moved back and faded into the background where he’d been.

  I was starting to seriously doubt the wisdom of letting them join our little group tonight, but Megan had been so pitiful and sincere in her pleading when she’d seen me reading about Witchcraft at the library. So, softie that I am, I relayed her plea to meet with us to Caleb and Allie.

  Alison, of course, wasn’t happy, but was willing to put her on probation. Caleb—practically the definition of a gentle giant—felt that anyone who wished for genuine fellowship should be given the opportunity. Hence Megan—excuse me, Lady Raven of the Emerald Woods—and her quiet friend joined us tonight.

  Fortunately, however, the ceremony passed without further incident, though at one point, I’d felt something—like energy trying to break free beneath my skin—and Caleb caught my eye, as if he’d felt it, too. He’d glanced sharply at our new guests then closed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath. The feeling passed suddenly, like the turning off of a light. I looked at him sharply but he just his usual goofy grin. He didn’t look as if anything had happened. Another quick glance around the room made me think no one else had noticed anything either.

  I chalked it up to static electricity, my overactive imagination, sleep deprivation, and the disruption of newcomers. By the time Lady Raven and her guest finally departed, I found myself trying real hard to remember why I had agreed to let her join us.

  “Well, she was just a sweet little peach, wasn’t she?” Caleb popped a pepperoni in his mouth. His long, golden-brown curls bobbed around his tan face as he chewed.

  Allie nodded. “Oh, yeah. Loved the stiff she brought with her, too.”

  “Ok, guys. Let’s remember that once upon a time we were idealistic newbies, too.” I turned to Caleb. “And you’re just miffed because you had to share the pepperoni.”

  Allie snorted. “Well, at least on that point I have to agree with Lady Fluffbunny. Your meat eating habits are disgusting.”

  He leaned over and blew pepperoni pizza breath in her face. She swung at him and he ducked, laughing.

  I shook my head. “Honestly, children, is this any way to behave after a Serious Ceremony?”

  Okay, gods forgive me, but I couldn’t resist mocking Lady Raven–nee-Megan just a little, too. She had been pretty pompous.

  I turned to Allie. “Although, I have to agree with you about what’s-his-name. He was pretty quiet. I couldn’t get a good read on him. What do you guys think?”

  Caleb shrugged. “I think his name was Scott. Beady eyes, but likes pepperoni, so he can’t be all bad.”

  Allie grunted. “Seemed a little creepy to me.”

  I frowned. I honestly couldn’t even clearly remember what this Scott guy looked like. He was one of those nondescript people who just blend in. Mainly, he just quietly observed, then helped himself to Caleb’s pepperoni, much to Caleb’s chagrin and Megan’s disgust. I was a bit surprised by how well he handled her, though. In fact, I think we all were. Surprised and grateful. It was obvious she was getting ready to go on a tear about the evils of meat, but Scott shut her down with just a glance. So, there might be more to him that meets the eye. Either that, or Lady Raven’s got the hots for him.

  Oh, God. Just burn that image right out of my brain.

  Even so, I can’t imagine that could be the case, given her extreme viewpoints. Then again, I’m vegetarian and I love Caleb like a brother, even if our diets are different. So it might not be out of the realm of possibility that Megan could overlook Scott’s carnivorous ways if she liked him enough. Though she did emphasize that he was a new friend—and just a friend. I tried again to picture what he’d been like. The only thing that stood out was when he came to Caleb’s rescue.

  That made me recall my own “rescue by stranger” experience. I hadn’t had a chance to tell them about it. “Hey, let me tell you what happened Friday night—”

  That’s as far as I got when the doorbell rang again.

  “Please do not tell me they’re back,” Allie groaned.

  We heard the door latch turning before I had even stood up from my chair, and my heart shot to my throat. Whoever it was had the nerve to just come in.

  Caleb jumped up quickly, heading for the hallway, and Allie grabbed the bronze horse statue from the side table and ran behind him, as if she were going to clobber whoever walked in. The door opened just as we got to it.

  “Well, this is a heck of a welcome,” Sara said, looking at us as we stood there in varying states of readiness to deal with an intruder. She dropped her suitcase on the floor and opened her arms.

  I was in them in a flash. “What are you doing here?!”

  She pulled back and grinned. “You did not really think I was going to miss our birthday week, did you? I tried to get here yesterday, but my flight was delayed. That’s the real reason I didn’t call you. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret if I actually spoke to you.”

  “I can’t believe you let me worry like that!”

  Sara pulled me close again. “I am so sorry. But it wouldn’t have been a birthday surprise if I told you.” She practically cracked my ribs in a hug. “And when I got the letter from the attorney, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone.”

  “Wait, what? You got a letter, too?” I pulled back in surprise. My letter had only asked me to set up an appointment, it hadn’t mentioned Sara.

  She frowned. “Yeah. It said he needed to speak to us both.” She made it sound like a question.

  “This is too weird. He did not mention you to me.”

  “That is weird.” Her lips pulled down, then went up again. “But hey, that made it even more of a surprise for your birthday!”

  “Um, yeah. I am beginning to think I could do with a few less surprises around here,” I said dryly.

  “Who else has been surprising you?” she asked.

  I did not get a chance to answer because Caleb stepped over and put his arm around her. “Stop hogging our girl here, will ya, Phoebes? The rest of us want to say hello, too.”

  Caleb’s hug was probably even longer than mine was, and to my surprise, Sara didn’t end it first. I looked over at Allie and she raised her pierced brows. I gave a tiny shrug then turned to grin at my cousin when it seemed she and Caleb simultaneously remembered they weren’t alone.

  “And how ‘bout me, eh?” Allie elbowed Caleb out of the way and gave Sara a hug. “I’ve missed you, girl.”

  “Same here. I’ve missed all of you.” She held out her arms to a group hug.

  The last remnants of the past two days’ worry and irritation fled as I held my cousin and our two best friends together. It was so good to have them all here, though a taste of bittersweet lingered now that we were standing alone in the house I would probably always think of as Gran’s. She would not have been so happy about our little reunion.

  The glimmer of tears in Sara’s eyes made me wonder if she was thinking the same thing.

  “Hey, now, no sadness allowed,” Caleb said when he looked at us. “We have too much to celebrate!”